July 15, 2000
Bait Wars Requiem
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I
was going to go off on some Star Wars - Bait Wars parody,
but my heart's just not in it anymore. I just can't
find enough humor in bait. I don't think most
Americans would have a clue what I'm talking about.
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Riverside
Resort closed last autumn and a bait retailing opportunity
was created. Early this spring, I was forming a
business plan to blitzkrieg the Lake Au Train bait market
with state-of-the-art minnow and leech tanks. I was
planning on becoming the King of Bait!
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"Hey, check out Michigan
Kev's Kind of a-lot-o Bait, his prices are INSANE!"
I had dreams of a
one-stop-shop bait superstore. I fully intended to follow the Bill
Gates "take no prisoners" marketing plan and wipe out all
competition. Global domination of the live bait market was in my
sights. bait.com was almost under development.
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Then I did some research.
Surveys
convincingly show a disturbing increase in the number of
Americans that simply prefer to stay home and watch TV
instead of going camping or fishing or anything else for
that matter.
Along with
bowling, fishing has suffered a precipitous decline in the
last decade.
At Dana's, the statistics
are pretty much on target. It's safe to say that maybe 20% of
our guests are active fisherfolk. The number of fisherfolk
around Au Train is very seasonal. There are times during the
off season when there is effectively no bait market.
The writing is on the
wall. Americans are hunkering down to Survivor, Big Brother
and Who Wants to be a Millionaire. The kids are hunkering
down to Nintendo. The bait market is shrinking.
The bait market is endangered. It doesn't appear that the
government will be stepping in to provide bait subsidies anytime
soon.
A few years ago,
Minnesota Public Radio aired a series of broadcasts that discussed
the closings of many small resorts in northern Minnesota.
Generation X'ers are simply not inclined to vacation at
old-fashioned Mom and Pop resorts. Without television, VCRs
and Nintendo they don't know how to fill the time. Fishing is
something their grandparents talk about and some of their uncles
watch on Saturday morning television.
The numbers are
convincing. I threw away the business plan for Michigan Kev's
Kind of a-lot-o Bait. I'm letting everyone else around me
scramble to serve the dwindling market.
Like Dennis Miller
says,
"Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be
wrong."
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"And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead
by using their computers to create the ultimate American business product:
a really sharp-looking report."
- Dave Barry
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